So... Schoolgirls and Mobilesuites event come and gone, and this year is just as entertaining as every other. Marc Hairston surprises me every year with his insightful lecture, giving us a new perspective through anime. This year, he shows us Spice and Wolf. Beside the economics concept, the bidding war was a thrill! Crispin Freeman's Sentai members lecture was funny as hell. It was interesting to see a serious study on Miyazaki, and who doesn't want to watch "Piccahu" on big screen? I met some great people this year. I wished I wasn't such a geek with the event and actually go and socialize a bit with them. CB. Cebulski gives an interesting perspective of the industry and his Q&A with Manga-ka Tomoko Taniguchi was both emotional and intellectual. I think the most thrilling thing for me this year is to able to participate as a guest, teaching a workshop to aspiring manga-ka like me. It was great to see so much talent out there. A student at the school, Salina, showed me her portfolio, and I was completely blown away by her works. Give her some time and I might have to beg to become her assistant working for a Japanese manga publisher. And of course, a fellow wirepopper showed up at my workshop. I am so embarassed.
As the event ended, it also signals the Fall is finally here. The weather has gotten cold and wet. This is always the time of the year where I have to regroup myself and plan on new strategy to survive the next round of abuse. Just because you can buy a house, doesn't mean you have the money to pay for it. As money gets tight again, anxiety level is going way up! Let's hope I get a break.

It has been crazily busy the last few weeks. I have been totally wrapped up in work search mode. I applied to 14 different places in one day last week and only two offered freelance works that might give me some money and would help me make a better portfolio for future application. To work 3 jobs is not an easy task, and on top of it, trying to maintain updates for two of my web manga just drain me dry. I wish all these hard work would take me somewhere. So far, no company is interested in my work yet. The struggle continues...
2 weeks ago, my wife and I went back to Philadelphia for a wedding. We got to see "the boys" (Sean, Will, Chris, and Dean) and of course our adopted M-theory multi-dimension universe son David and his newly wedded wife. My God, what a blast from the past! It was quite an emotional trip. I forgot how much we know Philly. What a formative years when we were there and how much we missed our friends. However, it took about 3 days to remember why we left. The jerky people of Philly and the familiarity of not ever getting out of the school crowd. Oh Philly, how I love to hate you!
Seeing our friend Melissa and Ian and their daughter was great. We apologize for our mindless gift. That puzzle game is going to keep the kid up all night and I don't think they will ever sleep again.
We got to see Jacques and Isabella. It was hard. We were glad that Jacques was so good with Izzy. And her ability to deal with the whole situation of losing her mother at such a young age amazed us. I almost burst out crying in several conversations. The subject of cancer still haunts me. With all my closest family lost to cancer, I felt an uncontrollable sadness everytime I talked about it.
It was good to see our friends again. They are so awesome. I am glad to see how everyone is doing well. I wish I could be there, spending time with them. The wedding was simple. Down to earth. With just a few tables of close friends and family, I felt honored to be there. Chris and Laura is such a good couple. I wonder why I never see it coming. The attraction goes all the way back to the Rome years. Oh, what a time we had. I think the reason why I treasure these friends so much is because they are all still who they are- a bunch of good hearted fools! Laura, once my student, is still as cute as the first day I met her. I love that girl. She is so pure at heart. I wish her and Chris will have many years of happiness together.

Karen is annoyingly head strong. I could hardly remembered what she said, but it was at my first teaching experience (monoprint demo when I was a TA.) that I met her, and she was giving me a hard time. Ask anyone and I believe they would able to share a similar experience. When my wife first met her, she was curious about community arts and wanted to learn from her. But she also told me later on how worry she was with Karen's strong opinion about community arts and that Karen might not accept her perspective. It takes awhile but we realize how awesome Karen really is. Karen is not a person who will just accept someone's view. You have to convince her with proofs. She is always ready to fight and argue with you, but she is also ready to apologize for her bias.
Few years back, one of our teacher Jacques was going out of town and needed babysitting of his cat Curtis. We loved cats so we accepted it gladly. However, we needed to go up to Canada to visit family as well, so the last week of this gig, my wife asked Karen for help. Secretly, she had a bigger plan. She wanted to hook Jacques up with Karen. I was never big in experimenting that kind of thing, and knowing the similarities of Jacques' characters with Karen, I thought it was a bad idea. I was wrong. Jacques met Karen when he went to pick Curtis back up. A few dates and "bing bam boom", Karen is pregnant.
Karen has had some bad times in her life, and that makes her tough on the outside and often very serious. But with this baby, I have never seen a bigger smile on her face. In her 40's, this is her first child, and there is nothing more important to her. I remembered teaching in the summer and she came by to visit and I told her to go away because of all the chemicals in the print shop. I remembered her belly was getting big and she had with her some new clothes, apparently just came back from shopping. She was radiantly happy and beautiful. Not long after, Jacques and Karen and us all moved into the same neighborhood. My wife and Karen became best friends.
Karen always want to be in control, and Jacques deals with her really well. He either satisfies her or calmly reasons with her. They are a good couple. When she was ready to give birth, she took control at the hospital, telling the doctor what to do. Eventually, she had to give in a bit because of complication. The delivery was difficult. Isabella is a pain in the butt but she is worth it.
Four years ago, we relocated. It was a painful goodbye to our friends. My wife never loses touch with Karen. They talk on the phone all the time and exchange ideas. Karen is always motherly, and she teaches her different strategies to deal with difficult situations. Life becomes stressful when you have a kid, and in exchanging with my wife, Karen seems to able to receive some calmness with her daily grind.
It is very hard to work in today's education system. Karen finally finished her PhD. and had some interviews for potential tenure track jobs. Not until recently, she got accepted to work at an environment she wanted to. I think most important of all, this job will provide security to Isabella. 
Life never works out the way you want it to. By August, everything falls apart. She has cancer. My wife has the opportunity to go work in Ireland for a year but she turns it down in case Karen needs her. I have many encounter with this disease in my family and I know how exhausting this will be. The unpredictableness and the constant ups and downs of treatments. My wife is going to visit her over spring break and just before she leaves, she heard news of the treatment failing. She is in and out of her consciousness but she knows that a lot of people are there. One thing she said to my wife that put me to shame. She said: "Oh, you are here. I love seeing your beautiful face!" With my own depression over failed dreams, disappointment in life, and the daily grind, I completely ignored the love and kindness from someone who is so close to me. 
I wasn't expecting this. I had plan to go to Philadelphia in June for a wedding and hope to visit her then. We don't have money and have a debt for years. I thought it is probably better to let my wife to spend the money to visit her rather me spending it. But now, it is a different scenario, so I looked up plane ticket the last minute. The prices are just impossible for me to go. I feel regret, pain, and immense sadness. I couldn't imagine a small child losing her mother. I couldn't imagine a loving mother not having the time to spend with her daughter to fully enjoy what life is all about. I couldn't imagine Jacques losing his wife.
Two weeks is what the doctor gives her. And Karen, as annoyingly head strong as she is, her fighting spirit comes right back. She frowns in her semi-conscious state, wanting to battle this one more time. She is a marathon runner, and I believe she has the stamina to do it if her body would just give her one more chance. Her body fails her mind.
Two weeks is brutal. What would I do if I know I only have 2 weeks left? Two weeks is too brutal for anyone.
Everyone that matters to her are there for support. Her journey on this Earth is going to end. I am experiencing everything through my wife's descriptions. I am not a religious person, but neither am I certain enough to say there is nothing after life. Wherever you will be, Karen, I hope you won't have to worry about the affairs of this world. The ones who love you got you cover.  

Wow, it has been a while. Things really gone downhill since Comic Con in the summer and I refrained myself from posting depressing stuff on here. It wasn't that bad, comparing with friends who lost their jobs. In fact, I am so overwhelmed with work I couldn't even breathe. So why so depress? Maybe because life is more than just work and make money to pay off debt. Maybe I used to have a dream and now just hitting dead ends everywhere. I said to myself: "This economy sucks and publishers are less incline to take chances. And when the economy gets better, maybe you will get accepted somewhere." But another voice: "Yeah right, good excuse, buddy! More like your work doesn't fit anywhere or you are just not good enough." As I go day in and day out, my mind is confused and conflicted. I understand that life is one big struggle, but sometimes holding out hope is just too hard. Honestly, how many more contest and submission must I do? How many rejection can one take? Somewhere deep down, a smart and rational person inside me tries to give me encouragement, but at the end of the day, I am too tired to even keep myself up. I am sure many can relate. And I am sure many will say: "Hey, how many people work in their dream job? At least you still have one." So, like I said, things ain't that bad.
Recently, I started writing my new story to make new pitches. At the moment, it's called "Magic Restore". It is a fantasy horror supernatural detective mystery. Um...  And I am quite happy with the magic scenarios. I definitely think that it is not typical and very folklore-ish. And since I have been writing, I am suddenly very aware of character development. In the last 3 weeks, Joss Whedon released his new TV show "Dollhouse", and I was very surprised of the non-Whendoness feel to it. Gone are the quippy dialogue in Buffy and Angel. And in fact, some of the characters are borderline Cliche. I understand the character "Echo" is a new way of seeing a heroine (a superhero/saviour without a purpose or identity), but the story line of saving a celeb singer is like watching Kevin Costner with Whitney Huston again. The evil genius/doctor is typical. And so is the agent who is an ass and the boss who cares nothing (seemingly) but has a more conflicted past (maybe). The FBI guy is obviously having an issue with the existence of Dollhouse. And it got to have some sort of tie in with his past. So when I start thinking it through, the show is getting thinner and thinner. But knowing how slow Buffy and Angel take shape, I am willing to give Joss Whedon a chance. After all, it has been a while since he got back to TV. Who knows what difficulty he went through just to get accepted for this show. And also, what the hell do I know about writing? And with all that's said, I still think "Dr. Horrible Sing Along" is one of his best work. I love it and I love it!

It is the third time I have gone to the Schoolgirls and Mobile Suits lectures, and this year, I manage to see all of it. Special guest Abe Yoshitoshi flew from Japan and gave us a run down of the idea behind his works and we got to know a little bit about his life. Crispin Freeman's lecture is always amusing and informative. Jeremy Ross from Tokyopop gave us the insider look of the publishing industry and where is at. I always appreciate his wisdom and wish him the best of luck in this challenging time.
Here is a pic of me and Abe.

Wow, finally some exciting stuffs worthy of posting! Many things have happened since my last post. I won Tokyopop Rising Stars of Manga 8 competition in the horror category with my entry "Daylight". But like I imagine, life always have a twist ready for me right around the corner.  I sent in a submission to the company and got approved for the Pilot program. Now, everyone hated TP basically bashed the whole contract thing. The way I see it: when was the last time I made a web comic and able to earn $750 for it? I think it's a pretty sweet deal since there is a possibility with further development into book form. But then, not long after I signed the contract,  the whole restructuring thing hit and dreams shattered. Ain't nothing I can do when TP no longer interests in publishing OEL. I treasure the exchange I have had with TP, especially the kindness from Hope Donovan and the wisdom and generosity from Jeremy Ross. But I guess it is time to hit the road for another gig!
Seeing that San Diego Comic-con is coming up, I push myself to finish the first volume of my Wirepop manga  "Guernica", print it through Lulu, and get myself ready to hit the Con! The whole Portfolio review process was intimidating and exhausting. Seeing so many talented artists out there, I learn a lot about what I need to do and what to prepare for the next time. It was embarrassing how unprepared I was, but it was a great learning experience nevertheless.  Besides that, I had such a great time participating in lots of panels discussion. Here are some pics of the con:


You cannot have a con without superheroes. I always think it's kind of embarrassing to wear tight suits, and i think Spider on the right is slightly inappropriate!



While Kenpachi is having a conversation with Urahara, Ichigo at the back is ready for a sneak attack! Meanwhile, the guy on the right believed he could become invisible by reading "Invisible Man"!



Of course, the debate between astronaut vs. the caveman continues! Wolverine with Ray Bradbury! Way cool!



After lining up for 2 hours to get into the Joss Whedon's "Dr. Horrible sing-along Blog", it was totally worth it, even though the line went all the way outside. And now, I have finally balanced out my driver's tan!



The ever so smart talented sexy Felicia Day, funny guy Neil Patrick Harris, and step-aside-Shatner Nathan Fillion! The panel was lots of fun!



The incredible back of Harold and Kuma!

So, at the tail end of the Con, I was about to drop off my last copy of "Guernica" for Seven seas, and at their booth, I saw a very enthusiastic Japanese man was chatting with the staff. After inquiring who he is, it turns out that it was the anime director of "Mushi-shi", Hiroshi Nagahama! I quickly pulled out my book and gave it to him! He was shocked! Didn't quite understand the gesture! Now, I am a big fan of the manga Mushi-shi and have watched the anime version as well. This is a rare opportunity, and all I want is an exchange. So I asked for a photograph and he gladly accepted!



But then, unexpectedly, he asked his intern/translator for his notebook, and he pulled out his pen and started drawing. I immediately signed my copy of manga and we exchanged!
Here's the sketch he gave me:


What a trip!!!!

Well, the cat is out of the bag! I am officially one of the Rising Stars of Manga competition finalist! Just the day before I found out, I learned that another contest (Kodansha 2nd international) I entered fell through. So my mood was kind of going up and down like a roller coaster. While I am excited by the news, I am much more cautious of not being too happy this year. For there is still the voting thing and final judging, and the higher you go, the harder you fall. I am not about to do that again!
I think the good thing about entering these competitions is how they up your game every time. You work harder, and you progress more. No one likes to lose, but what my problem is my failure to recognize my accomplishment. I get depressed easily. And how low I go? No end in sight! That often scares my wife. I guess artists are emotional beings. If they can control it, they wouldn't be making art.
A meaningful poem comes to mind lately... here it is:

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Wow, updating my website really took me down the memory lane! It has been quite some time since I look back at what I have done, and loading those images reminded me of the situation I lived in, the friends and the struggle. I recalled making some of those works at a school in Rome, and the Dean wouldn't allow me to install them in the school gallery for documentation. And I sneaked into the school in the middle of the night, hung it, and took pictures of them. The more outrageous act was installing my wife's work to photograph. We drilled holes in the ceiling at 2 am, set up lights, took pictures, un-installed, and then, patched up those holes before the janitor came in to work at 6. Back then, school just started to acquire computers, and emailing wasn't as popular for us all. People used to write letters to each other, receiving them in your mail box was special. Not like the daily text messaging or the jib jab junkie emails you get with no subject matter. And everyone was looking for creative ways to make art. Compare to some of my students nowadays who don't even want to draw their own images, and instead, scan a national geographic picture, trace outlines and call it theirs... wow, what a difference! The Digital age certainly change our perspectives and working methods, but I'm glad that I still see computers and programs as tools that help the work instead of replacing the work for an easy solution. Life hasn't been easy and I never go for the easy way out. Now, if I can just score at my Office Max interview tomorrow and get another part-time job...

Happy New Year to all!
Perfect timing to write my 1st entry, I suppose. Around this time, I always remember how my family celebrate Chinese New Year: visiting our relatives and collecting red pockets ($$$). But the most exciting thing... Candies! I guess it's comparable to Halloween here. We do dressed up but not in a wacky way, and we get the candies but not enough to fear to go to the next Dentist appointment. My brother and I would use all our red pocket money to buy toys. Ever since we immigrated to Canada, we don't have the circle of friends or enough relatives to have any sort of celebration. And it has been like that for almost 22 years. I guess this year is a little different. Family is getting smaller over the years, and I am moving further and further away from them. So I kind of miss it. Big *hugs* to all those out there who share the same sentiments!
Meanwhile, I had a job interview at FedEx Kinkos today. 6 years of part-time teaching at various Colleges and Universities, I finally had enough of the instability. Let's see if this will work out better for my personal work. And as for personal work goes... still waiting for the Rising stars of Manga competition results... very anxious...