I think the good thing about entering these competitions is how they up your game every time. You work harder, and you progress more. No one likes to lose, but what my problem is my failure to recognize my accomplishment. I get depressed easily. And how low I go? No end in sight! That often scares my wife. I guess artists are emotional beings. If they can control it, they wouldn't be making art.
A meaningful poem comes to mind lately... here it is:
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Perfect timing to write my 1st entry, I suppose. Around this time, I always remember how my family celebrate Chinese New Year: visiting our relatives and collecting red pockets ($$$). But the most exciting thing... Candies! I guess it's comparable to Halloween here. We do dressed up but not in a wacky way, and we get the candies but not enough to fear to go to the next Dentist appointment. My brother and I would use all our red pocket money to buy toys. Ever since we immigrated to Canada, we don't have the circle of friends or enough relatives to have any sort of celebration. And it has been like that for almost 22 years. I guess this year is a little different. Family is getting smaller over the years, and I am moving further and further away from them. So I kind of miss it. Big *hugs* to all those out there who share the same sentiments!
Meanwhile, I had a job interview at FedEx Kinkos today. 6 years of part-time teaching at various Colleges and Universities, I finally had enough of the instability. Let's see if this will work out better for my personal work. And as for personal work goes... still waiting for the Rising stars of Manga competition results... very anxious...
